Many a times when we meet people are we really being ourselves? Or are we trying to fit in to the norms of the society? And some people that have broken norms and are being unique, are they really accepted?
Being I is about being unique, accepting and yet living fully. So often, we are afraid to have a voice because we fear being ridiculed, not being accepted and moreover being lonely because we don't fit in. What we fail to see is that there are 7 billion other people out there who are unique, and different, with different thoughts and opinions - and they too are fearful of the same things we are. We can never be alone or lonely because by condition we all are meant to inter-be with each other. We may be as independent as can be, and yet we must inter-be with others.
One can never be unique, different or just be oneself until there is acceptance. And acceptance comes from within through mindful practice. To accept oneself is to be in peace with one. To accept one's fear is to be fearless. Once acceptance is in place, one has returned home in the true sense. Being ridiculed does not matter anymore because one is back home, he is safe and he is fearless and most importantly, he is happy because he lives his life alongside with his morals.
Kids tend to be great examples of this, remember being in school and observing someone being teased, bullied or mocked for a specific reason? It may have been because they were fat and the rest in class were thin, or because s/he was a foreigner and the rest were local, or even because s/he dressed differently. Today when we look back, we shun it off thinking "oh we were just kids" - whether we were part of it or not. However, we fail to realize the impacts of it. That specific child who was bullied, teased or mocked probably still has those scars - be it physical or mental, may be they are suffering from low self-esteem or low confidence. But in reality, the kids who were in the majority failed to realize that there is nothing about them that makes them stand out. And most importantly, each and every one has a distinct quality that would make them shine, but the fear of being in the minority is so heavily imprinted since school times that we, ourselves can't accept being different. Had we as children decided to be different, the world would have been a better place because the pressures of being like someone, or of fitting in would have decreased and it would be replaced by acceptance.
I have also met people who say "but I don't want to be different", and all I can say is that... "you already are!" It's just that there are definite things (sometimes even thoughts) that we keep to ourselves for the fear of rejection. However, at this point start with acceptance. When you meet someone different - see if you are willing to accept them that way. If you are, know that you too are ready to be different - but do not expect people to accept you or understand you... be happy in knowing that you are being true about yourself. Eventually the acceptance within is what we are looking for.
Once the change is brought about, the fear become fearless, the unaccepting become accepting, and a surprise is around the corner. Different relationships are created, either with new people or with ones known before. These relationships are much meaningful in comparison to the previous ones, for they are built on honesty and comfort, and most importantly acceptance.
Today I shall start accepting who I am today, and allowing myself to develop into the person I really am.
I do hope that this has encouraged you to accept yourself and others around you.
Being I is about being unique, accepting and yet living fully. So often, we are afraid to have a voice because we fear being ridiculed, not being accepted and moreover being lonely because we don't fit in. What we fail to see is that there are 7 billion other people out there who are unique, and different, with different thoughts and opinions - and they too are fearful of the same things we are. We can never be alone or lonely because by condition we all are meant to inter-be with each other. We may be as independent as can be, and yet we must inter-be with others.
One can never be unique, different or just be oneself until there is acceptance. And acceptance comes from within through mindful practice. To accept oneself is to be in peace with one. To accept one's fear is to be fearless. Once acceptance is in place, one has returned home in the true sense. Being ridiculed does not matter anymore because one is back home, he is safe and he is fearless and most importantly, he is happy because he lives his life alongside with his morals.
Kids tend to be great examples of this, remember being in school and observing someone being teased, bullied or mocked for a specific reason? It may have been because they were fat and the rest in class were thin, or because s/he was a foreigner and the rest were local, or even because s/he dressed differently. Today when we look back, we shun it off thinking "oh we were just kids" - whether we were part of it or not. However, we fail to realize the impacts of it. That specific child who was bullied, teased or mocked probably still has those scars - be it physical or mental, may be they are suffering from low self-esteem or low confidence. But in reality, the kids who were in the majority failed to realize that there is nothing about them that makes them stand out. And most importantly, each and every one has a distinct quality that would make them shine, but the fear of being in the minority is so heavily imprinted since school times that we, ourselves can't accept being different. Had we as children decided to be different, the world would have been a better place because the pressures of being like someone, or of fitting in would have decreased and it would be replaced by acceptance.
I have also met people who say "but I don't want to be different", and all I can say is that... "you already are!" It's just that there are definite things (sometimes even thoughts) that we keep to ourselves for the fear of rejection. However, at this point start with acceptance. When you meet someone different - see if you are willing to accept them that way. If you are, know that you too are ready to be different - but do not expect people to accept you or understand you... be happy in knowing that you are being true about yourself. Eventually the acceptance within is what we are looking for.
Once the change is brought about, the fear become fearless, the unaccepting become accepting, and a surprise is around the corner. Different relationships are created, either with new people or with ones known before. These relationships are much meaningful in comparison to the previous ones, for they are built on honesty and comfort, and most importantly acceptance.
Today I shall start accepting who I am today, and allowing myself to develop into the person I really am.
I do hope that this has encouraged you to accept yourself and others around you.
First of all, I love your writing style. You have a effortless way with words, and don't feel the need to overcomplicate things. I love that.
ReplyDeleteYour message hits home for me. It's something that I struggled with all my life, and I'd say I still do at times.
I was always the odd one out in high school. Partly out of choice, partly due to bullying from middle school, being that I was the only Indian girl in my school (and kid, besides my brother). I used to try to fit in with them. And crave to do things they liked to do. But I realized in my freshman year, that I didn't like all those things. The tanning, shopping (I do like it, but not the frivolous kind, you know?) or the gossip (OH the gossip).
I realized I was a completely different person, and that I was happy with that. I liked reading, instead of going out. I liked playing video games instead of flirting with boys. And I liked singing karaoke instead of drinking.
Granted I've also changed over the years, a little here and there. I'm not as sensitive as before, but I still only let myself be surrounded by people that are indeed different than me, but who know how to value my differences and not shun for them.
Today I shall start (once again :]) accepting who I am today, and allowing myself to develop into the person I really am. Because I truly believe, we all grow over and over again. We're never done learning as people, and as human beings.
Monica <3
Thank you Monica <3
DeleteI hope this journey of acceptance, be it yours or be it mine, shall allow us to be ourselves with no shame. And helps us come in terms with what the universe has to offer for us.
And like you said, we're never done learning... that's how it should always be :)