Flame on the wick named Desire

Every time I desire something 

It fuels the fire within.

I aim to achieve my goals...

And beyond them... I see nothing. 

There is a limit though. 

I'm focused but not obsessed

I merely burn like fire on a candle 

rather than a house on fire.  

I am cherished because I lighten more than just my life

rather than destroying more than mine

I want to be something,

rather, I am encouraged to be, to achieve

I am nothing, but a flame on the wick named desire. 

In my last post I wrote about forbidden desires, today I write about the brighter side of desires. Each time you desire something, that you know is good for you, the universe conspires to help you achieve it - that is if you send the correct signals. Having said that, what desires are really worth it? 

The first thing I think of when I read my own poem is... a career, however that is not the picture I wish for, though it is a trending image. One must always be careful of what one desires. I say that because the fulfillment of desires is no way linked with happiness. In fact, quite the contrary - the less you desire, the satisfied you are. But it's also true that if you desire wisely, you are benefited. If Buddha hadn't desired to be enlightened, he probably wouldn't have. However had Hitler not desired to be fascist, he wouldn't have died that horribly. Of course, the effects on the world would be extremely different, but that's an external issue. Your desires shape you. Your desires have consequences that you deal with, and sometimes others deal with it as well. Desires are powerful.

Actually, you are powerful because these desires arisen and are fulfilled through you. What you wish for all day long, may actually come true - but when you wish, you neglect the consequences. If you desire to be a millionaire, you may become one... however at the cost of your happiness or something else for that matter. That is why in the olden days they used to say, "be careful what you wish for". 

So next time when you desire something, be mindful of the consequences. Are you willing to face circumstances that arise from the fulfillment of your desires? And if you are, is your wish really worth it? 

What makes a wish worth it? 

Forget about society, forget about that dream job, forget about everything you hold dear... and think. What would you love to have in your life that cannot be measured monetarily? What is that thing you want to do before you die? With the assumption that you've forgotten everything and are about to die - what is it that you want? Nothing matters anymore. Having said that, it all boils down to doing what you love. If you love what you do today, your signals are prominent and crystal clear. There is no higher frequency than love. So love what you desire, and desire what you love. 

Desire the Prohibited?

Desire, Desire

Burn like ire...

Nobody wants you

Nobody needs you

You are nothing but,

Sadness disguised as happiness 

short-lived gain through bitter struggle

With the fall of discipline, 

you nurture a sufferer...

Letting go of you is to extinguish you 

or else... we too, burn like fire. 

Have you ever had that inexplicable desire for something you know will do you no good? I know I have. That one thing know you can't get, is that one thing you really want - it's not because you actually desire it, but because you know its not for you. It has been refused to you. That very thing causes the most amount of disturbance because you are not upset that you don't have it, but instead that it has been prohibited. 

In the Buddhist way of life desires are seen as greed - one of the seven sins. But how I see it, is that correct desires fuel you and unworthy desires break you. Why? Well if you don't have the desire to be enlightened - chances are you aren't going to work towards it. But if you desire wealth, you're never going to get enough and automatically that takes a physical toll and breaks you. 

Each desire is different and can be categorized, yet they have similar characteristics. But the desires I write about today are the unworthy ones. With life bringing us to different paths, roads and streets we often are faced with luring attractions. Attractions that distract you, misguide you and intend to destroy you - and yet they are gifts. How? Well it's quite simple actually. Each desire that you are faced with is a test, a test of your self-control; your discipline and your lessons. If you have learnt your lesson - you temptations will be less if not non-existent towards the attraction. If you are disciplined, you disregard the temptation itself, by letting it go. If you have self-control, it will help you stick to your grounds. 

And what if you haven't got any self-control, discipline, or lessons learnt? Well then, this is your opportunity. Some times we have to lose it in order to find it again, but better this time around. With a thing refused to you, you can either break the rules and go get it anyways - that's quite the rebel way, but it will teach you the lessons you need to learn (but that doesn't mean you should do it just to learn the lessons. If you consciously acknowledge the lessons that need to be learned - you'll learn them anyways. But generally people who are impulsive and unmindful of their actions, use this method as their last resort) or you can be convincing and achieve it. 

Either ways, you'll have something that you know is no good for you and you'll have a bunch of lessons waiting for you. And chances are when you get the thing you desired the most because it was prohibited, will lose it's charm once you've had it long enough. The effect will wear off, be it an object, a drug or a human. If you don't desire something for the right reasons, the tendency of it to ruin you increases ten-folds.  If you can avoid it, you have probably learned your lessons. But if you can't, that's what they are there for and you won't realize it until they've broken you down to an extent where going up is the only way out. You re-build yourself with the awakening that was brought about through that experience. And the awakening is the push that everyone has, at least once in a lifetime and it helps you become who you were meant to be. 

So if you are struggling with desiring the prohibited, just stop. Stop, and think, think about the reasons you desire it. If your reasons are beneficial, the universe will conspire to help you get it. And if your reasons are secondary... you know it will lose it's charm once you have it.

I encourage you to think about those desires that can potentially break you and eventually make you. Can you learn the lessons by acknowledgment or must you learn them the hard way? 

Am I really in love with you?

I thought I loved you, 

But I never really did...

Because to love is not to possess

Yet I wanted to have you.

Have you for myself. 

Every second, every minute, every hour

All day, everyday... forever

But love isn't about possession...

Perhaps, I was just addicted.

In the past few days I've had a insight about romantic love, which has left me pondering about it over and over again. In an era so promiscuous do we really fall in love every-so-often, or are people - our romantic partners specifically - an addiction? Now of course, if you are committed to someone and it feels right... then this is not applicable to you. But for those of us who are single, dating, and in a complicated, unsure relationship... are you really in love? 

In the age where everyone is so busy making a career and a living, we often get lonely at times. With no one to turn to on those "bad days". No one who would care to hear how the day went. No one to lend a shoulder and an ear. And when the going gets tough, we often look for support - could be emotional, spiritual,  or even physical... depends on the void we feel. And when these abysses grow we find ways to fill them - some do it with drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, while some fill it with people. However, there are people who do it all to fill their void. Some feel extremely empty while others feel mildly empty. What you choose to fill your void depends on your values and the degree of your feelings. 

Romantic relationships in the current generation are a common occurrence. From preteens to young adults, and beyond, it's not rare to find people in short-term relationships. Why is it that we invest so much time and energy to date or be in a relationship with someone who we know we won't last with? And if you thought you'd last... wouldn't you work it out instead of falling out of love? In fact, often girls and guys have quite the attachment drama after break ups. Or as I would say - the withdrawal symptoms. 

Waiting around for that phone to beep, or that instant message to pop, or may be even for that person to sign in - is that a sign of being in love or an addiction? Talking to that person everyday, every hour, every minute, and getting to know them and sharing details of your day with them... Is that falling in love or an addiction? 

If that is called being in love, does that mean that I will fall in love with every person I talk to everyday, every hour, every minute? There's no doubt that if I talk to that person, I must like him/her. I wouldn't talk to someone I don't like. Knowing things about this person, sure makes him/her familiar... and familiarity brings comfort. With the sense of comfort, trust, and likability... I am sure to love this person - but then would I fall in love?

When I look back in time, at my romantic relationships - sure I love the other person involved, and probably always will... but the question is... was I in love? Even if I was, would I fall again? Probably not. And if I can't fall again, I probably didn't fall the first time either. My previous partners were the outlet of my problems, just like I was theirs. In this fast paced life, we were in sync because we both needed someone. And building on that, we had a relationship - of course I hadn't acknowledged that it was but an addiction. An addiction to an outlet.

But that's my experience... it may not hold true for you. I won't get into how love should be, because that is your decision for yourself as an individual. But do reflect on your relationship and share your insights... because just like you, I want answers too :)