Music and the phases of emotions...

I sit here drowned in a sea of emotions,

Reaching out, invisibly.

No one understands me, No one’s been through it.

And yet, the range of our feelings is identical.

The only thing I rely on is that melody.

That beautiful melody...

As if it was created for none, but me.  

To help, to inspire, to lighten

All the parts withered away, within.

With the essence mesmerizingly covered,

I become part of it.

And it… it becomes part of me.

I am uplifted, enough to swim through emotions – untouched, unharmed.

Clarity is brought to me as light to darkness.

I come to life every time,

As my soul is nourished and nurtured.

This is the power.

The power of music.  

As days pass by, and moments fly… each to its own experiences a different set of emotions. Emotions that may be shared with everyone… but never at the same time, I see myself reaching out but no one’s on the same page. With each phase you may want to hold and get support. Be it sorrow or happiness, it’s an instinct to reach out. And yet, we reach out invisibly – for no one can switch phases and feel what you feel.

With feelings being so innate and the urge being so strong to relate… it is tough to not have that support, despite having your loved ones around. And just then you hear that song, that one tune with potential to stir up all that you have within. That’s when you feel understood. Word by word, emotions to emotions and feelings to feelings… no explanations are needed.  There are no requirements. It is all that has been recorded of someone’s phase. And now that phase is yours and it shall always be as long as you have access to that musical piece.

It’s funny how sometimes music understands us better than people do, and yet the music has been composed by people. How many times have you felt alone and misunderstood in your life despite being surrounded by others who know you well? Chances are, quite a few times. But then again, those people around you would have felt the same despite you being there for them. It’s tough to try and understand the other person when you are not in the same phase. With their variables being uncountable and reasons being hidden, it is not easy to replicate their feelings. And yet what you felt for a certain situation could be what this person feels for another. And here’s where music binds us, like none other.

It’s a relief to know that you’re not the only one who experiences such emotions and that such emotions of others have been recorded as though they’ve been custom made to connect to you. That connection, that understanding… it’s so inexplicably divine that it can touch the heart of millions and nourish the souls of billions. It’s an art that truly brings you back to life. 

Divine compassion

I knew who you were when I looked at you, 

you were that divine 

that precious

that compassion

that love

that resides within

I wish you were all that to yourself.

More than others, to yourself.

Because everything with out, is within.

And everything within is with out.

Respect yourself and you respect the world.

Often compassion and generosity is promoted and rewarded in societies, but are we really all that compassionate or generous? How often do you let someone get away with something that you would never allow yourself to? Are you ever as generous and compassionate to yourself like you are to a stranger? Often there are limits to how benevolent one can be, but these limits are always tested. For strangers it's more lenient than family, for family its more lenient than self. But the limits are always there, be it for yourself or others.  

Now, I know there are people who play nasty. These are usually the ones most compassionate to themselves. Because they are able to be compassionate towards their behavior. But in our society, we call that being selfish. Is it really? I don't promote playing nasty, but I support the win-win situation. 

Ethics are something we can argue about all day and yet fail to reach a conclusion, but we do know that humans act on motives. There is always an intention behind an action. Intentions just like actions may not always be pure... and normally they carry weight with them. If your intentions are not pure towards others, can they be pure towards yourself? And if your intentions are pure towards others, are you sure you are part of the pure intentions? Are you sure that you don't leave yourself out when you think of others? And can you be sure that you think of others when you think of yourself?

Across cultures, the priority from oneself to another varies, and hence the discrepancies of compassion. Being Asian, I may think of others before me. But having lived in the West, I may even forget that others exist. And despite that, there is one person I am being compassionate to - whether that's me, or whether it's someone else. But that's not enough, because there is no balance. If  I keep everyone else before me, they will drain out my resources and I will be left with nothing to give. If I am just compassionate to myself and no one else, I will be alone and possibly lonely - for my resources may be abundant but I will have no one to share them with.

I have come to learn that moderation is the key. Give, give all that you have... but learn to give yourself some too. In a day, if I do something for myself, something that makes me come alive, I've noticed that I can give more than what I could before. But if I am not compassionate to myself, no one will be. I will be giving, giving and giving... with nothing to give anymore. But if I'm not compassionate to others, I will not have the satisfaction of giving. Instead, I will be so lenient to myself that there will be no discipline; and with an abundance of my resources... I would waste them if they weren't shared.

Each one of us has a story, one that requires compassion for all the hardships we've seen. No hardship is big or small, it is the impact they create that signifies the damage. At this point, what can help heal more than love and compassion? For without loving compassion, we are lost. Without it, we fear, we grow anxious and all we need is a helping hand. It doesn't matter where the compassion to heal you comes from, whether yourself or others. Just know, that you are always going to be there with yourself and it's easier to rely on yourself for compassion than others.

So the next time you engage in negative self-talk, or in-compassion for yourself. Be mindful, change that voice! Make it compassionate, be nice to yourself. If you aren't, no one will be. And if you make yourself happy in a day, you can definitely be contagious! :)