Love is a high vibration universal feeling. A feeling that we all have towards someone, or something. But do we fully understand it? Do we practice it correctly? Are we aware of the consequences of our emotions, perceptions and expectations?
I wouldn't call myself Buddhist, but I do follow some of the teachings. I'm also a very spiritual person, and I truly believe in love - because that's all you are ever going to be satisfied with. But then my definition of love and the reality of love in our lives doesn't match. There is a discrepancy. Why? Because all I have ever learnt about love is acceptance, selflessness and compassion. But all that I see everyday is attachment, dependency, expectations, selfishness.
When was the last time you loved someone with absolute acceptance to their flaws, their quirks - everything and anything they did would never irk you? When was the last time you loved someone with absolute compassion - no matter what they did you would always be generous to them? When was the last time you loved someone so selflessly that you gave them all the freedom they wanted - be it to do a certain task, or to abandon you? I already know my answer - never. I've never loved someone enough to abandon me, I've never loved someone who I've never been mad at, I've never loved someone who I have fully accepted with their flaws and quirks... yet I am taking a step to it. After all, a journey of a million miles starts with the first step - and the first step is to acknowledge it.
When was the last time you didn't want to leave someone you truly loved - be it for work, education, travelling etc? When was the last time you felt disappointed because someone you loved did something that made you upset? When was the last time you thought your life would come crashing down if this/ these person(s) weren't in your life? When was the last time you got someone to do something for you because you loved them and they loved you? My answer to this is... always! These things happen all the time and their effect is so subtle that one can easily miss out on it.
It's true that there is always going to be a discrepancy between idealistic situations and realistic situations. However, there is always room for self-improvement. I don't expect anyone to become a Buddha over night and practice pure love, but then I know that by taking a step towards pure love - one can hope to eliminate suffering.
The ones you love the most, can potentially hurt you the most when you practice selfish love; when you have expectations that weren't fulfilled, when you are upset about a certain fault, when you are dependent upon the other person. Selfish love is not bad, it's just painful sometimes. And although pure love never hurts - it also requires a lot of conscious effort to maintain it. Love is truly eternal because it is a feeling passed on - two people can be on other sides of the world and yet share love, a person may die but your love for them never does.
I hope that one day, through constant effort I will be able to practice pure love rather than selfish love.
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