There are times where everything is perfectly smooth, and then there are times where things are an utter disaster. And often, things tend to be somewhere in the middle. When things don't go right, we sometimes we get caught up in blame games, which eventually point out flaws - it may be ours or another persons. And often we see flaws of others easily, whereas our own flaws are hidden until it is pointed out. Psychologically, this is healthy for it permits us to hold a positive image of ourselves, building self-esteem. But in reality, it is imperative to acknowledge them because these flaws need not stay with us, and they can disappear through constant effort of acknowledgement and acceptance.
Acceptance plays a huge role on how we contribute to or eliminate our flaws. Yes, flaws are part of ourselves just as much as any other trait and they must be accepted and loved like any other. When we accept and love our flaws we build awareness towards it. The love and acceptance allow the self-esteem to be secure, perhaps even stronger than when we weren't aware of the flaws. Now if we just leave it at this, then acceptance would contribute to our flaws and we would have no motivation to change. But when we accept it with the intention to eliminate it, the awareness permits us to reduce the amount of times we react to situations through our flaws. And every time we do, we are pushed to be self-reflective.
Flaws are indicators towards our fears and insecurities. Fears and insecurities which must be faced, dealt with, accepted with love and then eventually we need to let go of them.
For example, we all know of one person (it may be us or someone else) who is very messy and tends to collect clutters from every possible place. It is usually because they have a lot of mental clutter that they haven't been able to deal with. Every time something happens, they just leave it in some corner of their mind and get on with their daily lives... never realizing that it will stay there and conquer space as long as it is not thrown out. Or for example, a person who yaps on all day about his/her accomplishments is insecure of not being accepted, or not being "good enough" for society. And every time one of the accomplishments are brought up, they associate it with self-worth.
We all have issues like these that we disregard, but some day we must learn to eliminate them - because they hinder our progression to achieve our life goals and to All That Is.
The best way to deal with such issues is to bring awareness to your flaws, love them, accept them, and then bring awareness to every situation where you would impulsively act through these flaws. As you diminish their usage, they are no longer part of you. And they no longer act as hindrances towards your path of enlightenment.
Hmm I couldn't relate to this one quite as much as the previous two, simply because I am painfully aware some of my flaws. It's true before it was my way of trying to understand was bullied. But now it's more of a way for me to try to improve. I guess I do relate to your post, still. Just not in the same straightforward way as before.
ReplyDeleteI guess I know I am a bit of a masochist, sensitive, high-tempered (only when provoked though) and basically insecure. I'm not as much as I used to be, as I've tried to eliminate these flaws. And making new friends who tell me straight up and encourage me with my positive qualities indeed helps. But I suppose the biggest catalyst was a specific relationship (if you could even call it that) that opened my eyes. It made me realize that I was worth more than I was settling for, and that my flaws are not a reason for me to do so.