Music and the phases of emotions...

I sit here drowned in a sea of emotions,

Reaching out, invisibly.

No one understands me, No one’s been through it.

And yet, the range of our feelings is identical.

The only thing I rely on is that melody.

That beautiful melody...

As if it was created for none, but me.  

To help, to inspire, to lighten

All the parts withered away, within.

With the essence mesmerizingly covered,

I become part of it.

And it… it becomes part of me.

I am uplifted, enough to swim through emotions – untouched, unharmed.

Clarity is brought to me as light to darkness.

I come to life every time,

As my soul is nourished and nurtured.

This is the power.

The power of music.  

As days pass by, and moments fly… each to its own experiences a different set of emotions. Emotions that may be shared with everyone… but never at the same time, I see myself reaching out but no one’s on the same page. With each phase you may want to hold and get support. Be it sorrow or happiness, it’s an instinct to reach out. And yet, we reach out invisibly – for no one can switch phases and feel what you feel.

With feelings being so innate and the urge being so strong to relate… it is tough to not have that support, despite having your loved ones around. And just then you hear that song, that one tune with potential to stir up all that you have within. That’s when you feel understood. Word by word, emotions to emotions and feelings to feelings… no explanations are needed.  There are no requirements. It is all that has been recorded of someone’s phase. And now that phase is yours and it shall always be as long as you have access to that musical piece.

It’s funny how sometimes music understands us better than people do, and yet the music has been composed by people. How many times have you felt alone and misunderstood in your life despite being surrounded by others who know you well? Chances are, quite a few times. But then again, those people around you would have felt the same despite you being there for them. It’s tough to try and understand the other person when you are not in the same phase. With their variables being uncountable and reasons being hidden, it is not easy to replicate their feelings. And yet what you felt for a certain situation could be what this person feels for another. And here’s where music binds us, like none other.

It’s a relief to know that you’re not the only one who experiences such emotions and that such emotions of others have been recorded as though they’ve been custom made to connect to you. That connection, that understanding… it’s so inexplicably divine that it can touch the heart of millions and nourish the souls of billions. It’s an art that truly brings you back to life. 

Divine compassion

I knew who you were when I looked at you, 

you were that divine 

that precious

that compassion

that love

that resides within

I wish you were all that to yourself.

More than others, to yourself.

Because everything with out, is within.

And everything within is with out.

Respect yourself and you respect the world.

Often compassion and generosity is promoted and rewarded in societies, but are we really all that compassionate or generous? How often do you let someone get away with something that you would never allow yourself to? Are you ever as generous and compassionate to yourself like you are to a stranger? Often there are limits to how benevolent one can be, but these limits are always tested. For strangers it's more lenient than family, for family its more lenient than self. But the limits are always there, be it for yourself or others.  

Now, I know there are people who play nasty. These are usually the ones most compassionate to themselves. Because they are able to be compassionate towards their behavior. But in our society, we call that being selfish. Is it really? I don't promote playing nasty, but I support the win-win situation. 

Ethics are something we can argue about all day and yet fail to reach a conclusion, but we do know that humans act on motives. There is always an intention behind an action. Intentions just like actions may not always be pure... and normally they carry weight with them. If your intentions are not pure towards others, can they be pure towards yourself? And if your intentions are pure towards others, are you sure you are part of the pure intentions? Are you sure that you don't leave yourself out when you think of others? And can you be sure that you think of others when you think of yourself?

Across cultures, the priority from oneself to another varies, and hence the discrepancies of compassion. Being Asian, I may think of others before me. But having lived in the West, I may even forget that others exist. And despite that, there is one person I am being compassionate to - whether that's me, or whether it's someone else. But that's not enough, because there is no balance. If  I keep everyone else before me, they will drain out my resources and I will be left with nothing to give. If I am just compassionate to myself and no one else, I will be alone and possibly lonely - for my resources may be abundant but I will have no one to share them with.

I have come to learn that moderation is the key. Give, give all that you have... but learn to give yourself some too. In a day, if I do something for myself, something that makes me come alive, I've noticed that I can give more than what I could before. But if I am not compassionate to myself, no one will be. I will be giving, giving and giving... with nothing to give anymore. But if I'm not compassionate to others, I will not have the satisfaction of giving. Instead, I will be so lenient to myself that there will be no discipline; and with an abundance of my resources... I would waste them if they weren't shared.

Each one of us has a story, one that requires compassion for all the hardships we've seen. No hardship is big or small, it is the impact they create that signifies the damage. At this point, what can help heal more than love and compassion? For without loving compassion, we are lost. Without it, we fear, we grow anxious and all we need is a helping hand. It doesn't matter where the compassion to heal you comes from, whether yourself or others. Just know, that you are always going to be there with yourself and it's easier to rely on yourself for compassion than others.

So the next time you engage in negative self-talk, or in-compassion for yourself. Be mindful, change that voice! Make it compassionate, be nice to yourself. If you aren't, no one will be. And if you make yourself happy in a day, you can definitely be contagious! :)

Flame on the wick named Desire

Every time I desire something 

It fuels the fire within.

I aim to achieve my goals...

And beyond them... I see nothing. 

There is a limit though. 

I'm focused but not obsessed

I merely burn like fire on a candle 

rather than a house on fire.  

I am cherished because I lighten more than just my life

rather than destroying more than mine

I want to be something,

rather, I am encouraged to be, to achieve

I am nothing, but a flame on the wick named desire. 

In my last post I wrote about forbidden desires, today I write about the brighter side of desires. Each time you desire something, that you know is good for you, the universe conspires to help you achieve it - that is if you send the correct signals. Having said that, what desires are really worth it? 

The first thing I think of when I read my own poem is... a career, however that is not the picture I wish for, though it is a trending image. One must always be careful of what one desires. I say that because the fulfillment of desires is no way linked with happiness. In fact, quite the contrary - the less you desire, the satisfied you are. But it's also true that if you desire wisely, you are benefited. If Buddha hadn't desired to be enlightened, he probably wouldn't have. However had Hitler not desired to be fascist, he wouldn't have died that horribly. Of course, the effects on the world would be extremely different, but that's an external issue. Your desires shape you. Your desires have consequences that you deal with, and sometimes others deal with it as well. Desires are powerful.

Actually, you are powerful because these desires arisen and are fulfilled through you. What you wish for all day long, may actually come true - but when you wish, you neglect the consequences. If you desire to be a millionaire, you may become one... however at the cost of your happiness or something else for that matter. That is why in the olden days they used to say, "be careful what you wish for". 

So next time when you desire something, be mindful of the consequences. Are you willing to face circumstances that arise from the fulfillment of your desires? And if you are, is your wish really worth it? 

What makes a wish worth it? 

Forget about society, forget about that dream job, forget about everything you hold dear... and think. What would you love to have in your life that cannot be measured monetarily? What is that thing you want to do before you die? With the assumption that you've forgotten everything and are about to die - what is it that you want? Nothing matters anymore. Having said that, it all boils down to doing what you love. If you love what you do today, your signals are prominent and crystal clear. There is no higher frequency than love. So love what you desire, and desire what you love. 

Desire the Prohibited?

Desire, Desire

Burn like ire...

Nobody wants you

Nobody needs you

You are nothing but,

Sadness disguised as happiness 

short-lived gain through bitter struggle

With the fall of discipline, 

you nurture a sufferer...

Letting go of you is to extinguish you 

or else... we too, burn like fire. 

Have you ever had that inexplicable desire for something you know will do you no good? I know I have. That one thing know you can't get, is that one thing you really want - it's not because you actually desire it, but because you know its not for you. It has been refused to you. That very thing causes the most amount of disturbance because you are not upset that you don't have it, but instead that it has been prohibited. 

In the Buddhist way of life desires are seen as greed - one of the seven sins. But how I see it, is that correct desires fuel you and unworthy desires break you. Why? Well if you don't have the desire to be enlightened - chances are you aren't going to work towards it. But if you desire wealth, you're never going to get enough and automatically that takes a physical toll and breaks you. 

Each desire is different and can be categorized, yet they have similar characteristics. But the desires I write about today are the unworthy ones. With life bringing us to different paths, roads and streets we often are faced with luring attractions. Attractions that distract you, misguide you and intend to destroy you - and yet they are gifts. How? Well it's quite simple actually. Each desire that you are faced with is a test, a test of your self-control; your discipline and your lessons. If you have learnt your lesson - you temptations will be less if not non-existent towards the attraction. If you are disciplined, you disregard the temptation itself, by letting it go. If you have self-control, it will help you stick to your grounds. 

And what if you haven't got any self-control, discipline, or lessons learnt? Well then, this is your opportunity. Some times we have to lose it in order to find it again, but better this time around. With a thing refused to you, you can either break the rules and go get it anyways - that's quite the rebel way, but it will teach you the lessons you need to learn (but that doesn't mean you should do it just to learn the lessons. If you consciously acknowledge the lessons that need to be learned - you'll learn them anyways. But generally people who are impulsive and unmindful of their actions, use this method as their last resort) or you can be convincing and achieve it. 

Either ways, you'll have something that you know is no good for you and you'll have a bunch of lessons waiting for you. And chances are when you get the thing you desired the most because it was prohibited, will lose it's charm once you've had it long enough. The effect will wear off, be it an object, a drug or a human. If you don't desire something for the right reasons, the tendency of it to ruin you increases ten-folds.  If you can avoid it, you have probably learned your lessons. But if you can't, that's what they are there for and you won't realize it until they've broken you down to an extent where going up is the only way out. You re-build yourself with the awakening that was brought about through that experience. And the awakening is the push that everyone has, at least once in a lifetime and it helps you become who you were meant to be. 

So if you are struggling with desiring the prohibited, just stop. Stop, and think, think about the reasons you desire it. If your reasons are beneficial, the universe will conspire to help you get it. And if your reasons are secondary... you know it will lose it's charm once you have it.

I encourage you to think about those desires that can potentially break you and eventually make you. Can you learn the lessons by acknowledgment or must you learn them the hard way? 

Am I really in love with you?

I thought I loved you, 

But I never really did...

Because to love is not to possess

Yet I wanted to have you.

Have you for myself. 

Every second, every minute, every hour

All day, everyday... forever

But love isn't about possession...

Perhaps, I was just addicted.

In the past few days I've had a insight about romantic love, which has left me pondering about it over and over again. In an era so promiscuous do we really fall in love every-so-often, or are people - our romantic partners specifically - an addiction? Now of course, if you are committed to someone and it feels right... then this is not applicable to you. But for those of us who are single, dating, and in a complicated, unsure relationship... are you really in love? 

In the age where everyone is so busy making a career and a living, we often get lonely at times. With no one to turn to on those "bad days". No one who would care to hear how the day went. No one to lend a shoulder and an ear. And when the going gets tough, we often look for support - could be emotional, spiritual,  or even physical... depends on the void we feel. And when these abysses grow we find ways to fill them - some do it with drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, while some fill it with people. However, there are people who do it all to fill their void. Some feel extremely empty while others feel mildly empty. What you choose to fill your void depends on your values and the degree of your feelings. 

Romantic relationships in the current generation are a common occurrence. From preteens to young adults, and beyond, it's not rare to find people in short-term relationships. Why is it that we invest so much time and energy to date or be in a relationship with someone who we know we won't last with? And if you thought you'd last... wouldn't you work it out instead of falling out of love? In fact, often girls and guys have quite the attachment drama after break ups. Or as I would say - the withdrawal symptoms. 

Waiting around for that phone to beep, or that instant message to pop, or may be even for that person to sign in - is that a sign of being in love or an addiction? Talking to that person everyday, every hour, every minute, and getting to know them and sharing details of your day with them... Is that falling in love or an addiction? 

If that is called being in love, does that mean that I will fall in love with every person I talk to everyday, every hour, every minute? There's no doubt that if I talk to that person, I must like him/her. I wouldn't talk to someone I don't like. Knowing things about this person, sure makes him/her familiar... and familiarity brings comfort. With the sense of comfort, trust, and likability... I am sure to love this person - but then would I fall in love?

When I look back in time, at my romantic relationships - sure I love the other person involved, and probably always will... but the question is... was I in love? Even if I was, would I fall again? Probably not. And if I can't fall again, I probably didn't fall the first time either. My previous partners were the outlet of my problems, just like I was theirs. In this fast paced life, we were in sync because we both needed someone. And building on that, we had a relationship - of course I hadn't acknowledged that it was but an addiction. An addiction to an outlet.

But that's my experience... it may not hold true for you. I won't get into how love should be, because that is your decision for yourself as an individual. But do reflect on your relationship and share your insights... because just like you, I want answers too :) 

The ones you love the most, can potentially hurt you the most...

Love is a high vibration universal feeling. A feeling that we all have towards someone, or something. But do we fully understand it? Do we practice it correctly? Are we aware of the consequences of our emotions, perceptions and expectations?

I wouldn't call myself Buddhist, but I do follow some of the teachings. I'm also a very spiritual person, and I truly believe in love - because that's all you are ever going to be satisfied with. But then my definition of love and the reality of love in our lives doesn't match. There is a discrepancy. Why? Because all I have ever learnt about love is acceptance, selflessness and compassion. But all that I see everyday is attachment, dependency, expectations, selfishness.

When was the last time you loved someone with absolute acceptance to their flaws, their quirks - everything and anything they did would never irk you? When was the last time you loved someone with absolute compassion - no matter what they did you would always be generous to them? When was the last time you loved someone so selflessly that you gave them all the freedom they wanted - be it to do a certain task, or to abandon you? I already know my answer - never. I've never loved someone enough to abandon me, I've never loved someone who I've never been mad at, I've never loved someone who I have fully accepted with their flaws and quirks... yet I am taking a step to it. After all, a journey of a million miles starts with the first step - and the first step is to acknowledge it.

When was the last time you didn't want to leave someone you truly loved - be it for work, education, travelling etc? When was the last time you felt disappointed because someone you loved did something that made you upset? When was the last time you thought your life would come crashing down if this/ these person(s) weren't in your life? When was the last time you got someone to do something for you because you loved them and they loved you? My answer to this is... always! These things happen all the time and their effect is so subtle that one can easily miss out on it.

It's true that there is always going to be a discrepancy between idealistic situations and realistic situations. However, there is always room for self-improvement. I don't expect anyone to become a Buddha over night and practice pure love, but then I know that by taking a step towards pure love - one can hope to eliminate suffering.

The ones you love the most, can potentially hurt you the most when you practice selfish love; when you have expectations that weren't fulfilled, when you are upset about a certain fault, when you are dependent upon the other person. Selfish love is not bad, it's just painful sometimes. And although pure love never hurts - it also requires a lot of conscious effort to maintain it. Love is truly eternal because it is a feeling passed on - two people can be on other sides of the world and yet share love, a person may die but your love for them never does.

I hope that one day, through constant effort I will be able to practice pure love rather than selfish love.

Being Your Own Best Friend!

Continuation of Attachment, Love and Self... 
Dedicated to Monica :) 

It's been a decade since I was told to be my own best friend, and it took me the longest amount of time to understand what that means. Now that I have understood it, I try to practice it... hence I know it's takes lots of time and patience. It is more like a journey than a destination. There will be frustrations, irritations, negativity, confusions and at times you will even want to run away from yourself... and yet, even one moment of success in being your own best friend is so blissful.

So, what does it mean to be your own best friend? Now, as much as I deny I've had temporary best friends and then through time and space we grew apart. I'm sure everyone has met that one person who they can relate to, feel comfortable with and yet have a lot of fun. We all have the qualities of being best friends to someone. But now, that someone is ourselves. List all the qualities you would want your best friend to have and then cultivate them in yourself. Every time you feel low, give yourself love - it's hard, but comes with practice. Every time you see something negative, show yourself the positive - just like a best friend would do. Talk to yourself, because if you can't discuss the issues troubling you to yourself... you can't talk to anyone else about it. And anyways who can understand you better than you?

I know how the society has some stigmas about "talking to yourself", but that's ok... they don't need to know about your connection to yourself. It's not at all creepy, in fact everyone does it unknowingly. Ever thought of things you can't do? - Well that's your mind telling you things about you, it may be right or it may be wrong... but it's still talking to you. However that's negative self-talk, while positive self-talk is what we all need and that's what a real best friend does. Yes, you criticize yourself but it's to help you go forward ... not to limit you. So the more positive self-talk you practice, the better best friend you are to yourself. The more objectively you see your situation, the easier it is to practice this positive self-talk. But sometimes one can't help being subjective and roll into negative self-talk... but this is where awareness and acceptance comes in.When you are aware of your self-talk you can manipulate it to be positive. And you manipulate it by accepting the negative and letting it go for good.

Another thing about being your own best friend, is listening. Sometimes we get so caught up in self-talk that we don't even think about our problems. I have come to realize that when I voice my problems and talk about it, I normally get my answers and all the other person had to do was listen to me rant. So why can't I rant to myself - without judgement, without self-talk (although I may need it after I'm done), with complete acceptance, and with love and compassion? I don't have to rant in front of the whole world, I can do it privately, I can do it on paper as well... as long as I am clearly aware of the whole situation. Often when we think of our problems, we just state the negatives and leave out the positives and the side details, but when we talk it out to our friends we have to explain the whole situation. When we look at the problem holistically things seem a lot smaller than it did when we just thought about the problem. That's why when being your own best friend, you have to treat yourself as an outsider - you must talk about everything so you gain clarity on the situation. And once you've done that, that's when self talk comes in play.

A relationship is always about give and take, hence your relationship with yourself also follows this pattern. You must give yourself every detail of the story to take advice and encouragement. And trust yourself for the best advice, if you can give them to others - you can also give them to yourself, with correct practice. :)

As for my journey, this is what I have learnt so far... and I still have a long way to go because knowing and realizing isn't the same. I know this, I yet have to practice it to realize it.

Attachment, Love, and Self...

I am a girl aged 3, I live with my mother away from my dad - it doesn't bother me now, for I am young

I am a girl aged 7, I visit my dad and realize what I've been missing - it hurts to leave him once again for I am... attached.

I am a girl aged 8, conditions are better we shift countries to settle with my father, I leave all my friends behind - it hurts to leave them and my lifestyle for I am... attached.

I am a girl aged 10, my brother moves to a boarding school - it hurts to see him go for I am... attached.

I am a girl aged 14, my brother passes away - we went through most of the changes together, it hurts to let him go forever for I am... attached.

I am a girl aged 16, I go to a boarding school, I leave my parents - they who've stuck by through thick and thin but I'm hurt for I am... attached.

I am a girl aged 18, I leave for university, I leave my parents, my school friends, my culture, my continent - all things that I was ever familiar to... I'm hurt for I am... attached. 

I am a woman aged 25, I marry, I leave my family, my friends, everything I ever had, to make a new life with this man, although I'm happy... It really hurts, for I am still... attached.

I am a woman aged 45, I see my kids going away to fulfill their dreams. I am happy to see them follow their heart, but letting them go hurts for I have grown to be ... attached.

I am a woman aged 60, I see my parent's pass away, although I had left them before they were still part of my life. Not being able to see them ever again hurts... for I am attached. 

I am a woman aged 70, I see my husband pass away, I will always cherish what we had but it's time to let go... Never seeing my companion again hurts for I grew to be attached.

I am a woman of 71, I see death coming, I know that whomever I may have lost or grown apart from will now be there for me. And all it is, is love... not attachment. 

It is said that love doesn't cause suffering, attachment does. Often our relationships are based on attachments, sure love does exist but so does attachment. Love is not about possessing but instead it's a feeling shared. But oh, it's so hard to not be attached to your loved ones and yet love without attachment is the best kind. 

In some societies independence is highly valued and in some it isn't. We can never really be completely independent because every little thing adds fuel to our existence and we can never really be completely dependent because no body can run our race for us. So how do we co-exist yet not be attached? How is it possible to love and yet let go when necessary? How is it possible to be alone and still never be alone?

I read an interesting book about how everything is interrelated and hence there is no need for attachment. When I love someone, they become part of me in one way or the other. I love my parents, they are part of me because I have been made out of them. I love my brother, he shared the same genes as well - so somewhere he is still part of me. All the friends that I make is because I connect to them on a level. That level of connection is part of me, hence they still are part of me. I love my children, they are made from me and they will always be part of me. I love my husband, he too is part of me for we connect on all levels and have created life together as well. Yet, the fear of letting go and my attachment to whom I love is so strong that it can keep me up all night. 

It is said on a soul level you can connect to whom you like, whenever you like - of course not physically. But then, we too are just spiritual beings on a physical journey. And when you acknowledge and accept this it makes life a lot easier. The ability to let go of people you love comes easily for you know you can connect to them whenever you want. All you have to do is have a silent mind and talk to that person. Chances are, if you love that person and know them well, you will hear them tell you things, give you solutions to your problems... and their talks will sound just the way they do in person. When this happens you are connecting to the fragment of that soul of that person you know in this lifetime. 

Attachment is also often decreased by being your own best friend. With globalization happening on a rapid rate its very common to meet a third culture kid or adult who has had various experiences through shifting cities, countries and continents that they don't have a best friend. Besides having a best friend would also require letting go. When you are your own best friend there is no letting go. 

Often people despise being alone but sometimes it's the only option you have. Being your own best friend makes it easier to be alone. That discomfort disappears and there is no expectation or attachment to your loved ones - there is only love. But how can you be your own best friend?

To be continued...

The Dirty Play of Cross-roads...

Life is a strange journey and in this journey we are sometimes brought to a cross-road. Which direction do we choose? left or right? Rather, what decision do we make?

Some believe in fate and other's believe in free-will, there are also people who believe in synchronicity - that fate and free-will are intertwined and make a destiny. Does it matter what you believe in when your standing on a cross-road? Yes, the concept of free-will gives the perception of freedom and security that if you don't like the decision you have made, you can always change it. On the other hand, the concept of fate gives you a relief that whatever will happen is planned for your own benefit. And when you believe in synchronicity, you can take refuge that fate will guide you to make decisions with your own free will for your own benefit. But that's all they do, they don't make the decision for you.

Besides, you can't leave everything to fate - because then you would be doing nothing. Neither can you believe in free will a 100% because things don't always go as planned. So what do you do when you are at a cross-road, when you have to make a decision?

The mind is but a dirty play, jumping from one end to the other. Seducing you to choose one and when you decide to choose it, it lures you to the other. They say once bitten, twice shy but the mind never stops playing its games and we never stop heeding it. We get caught up in these games so much that we fail to realize how shallow they make us with worry.

It is often said listen to your heart rather than your head because often your heart already knows what you want. And your intuition already knows what's going to happen. They say there is a difference between the head and the heart's voice and when you are calm you can differentiate between them. But how do you differentiate between it when your mind is in a turmoil?

I close my eyes and say "what does my head think about ......" and then take a break and say "what does my heart say about...." and I get my answers and hopefully you shall get yours as well.

But how do we really know that's what our hearts really want? What if its the wrong decision? Well, once you've made a decision trust synchronicity, fate, destiny, free-will to make it work for you. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. If it is, it will. If it goes well, you have a success. If it goes wrong, you have lesson.

We always learn from everything in life whether we realize it or not. And these cross-roads are blessings in disguise as little obstacles. They can only help you grow wiser. So accept that you have a choice, but also accept that you can't control everything every time.

Just for today... Don't worry

Each one of us has responsibilities, some towards ourselves, and some towards others. With the stresses of our daily lives, it has become incredibly difficult to be calm and accepting. We constantly have something that occupies our minds. We worry, we fear, we become anxious... and how does that help? Worry doesn't sort things out. Fear doesn't eradicate situations. And anxiety doesn't calm a mind. When we dwell in the present moment, we have no fears, no worries and no anxiety. Because at this moment, nothing is wrong. In this moment, I am still living despite my past and my future. In this minute, if there is a problem there is a solution. In the future if there is a problem, in the future there is a solution - why worry now?

Often this worry, this anxiety, this fear is part of our daily lives because we forget to savor the present. But how to we savor this present moment? There are so many ways! Meditation, monitoring your thoughts throughout the day etc.  However, it is very common that when one meditates with an agitated mind, very little is achieved. It is because when we observe our thoughts, we get carried away... An agitated mind is further agitated when its attempts have failed.

But that doesn't mean that we should give up meditating, or other forms of activities that calm the mind - be it a massage, a reiki session, or anything else. It just mean that we need to simplify our minds before we relax them. An agitated mind is very very hard to relax.

So how do we simplify our minds, our thoughts and allow our minds to relax? The answer yet again is... Acceptance! Acceptance is a wonderful way to tell yourself "yes, I know I worry, I know I'm anxious, I know I'm fearful... but it's okay. With this acceptance towards the way I feel, I wish to let go because today, nothing is wrong. I accept what life brings to me this minute".

When a child is scared, terribly scared, the mother is the one to console him/her. With love, with compassion, with acceptance and without judgement, she is able to tell the child that nothing will happen. And that the child is safe and secure. When an infant cries after waking up, all it needs is to be in a secure embrace - to know that s/he is fine and nothing is going to harm it.

In times of stress, consciously, we are the children and we are the mothers. But in reality our mother is our higher-self/ subconscious mind/ All-That-Is ... whatever it is you believe in! Be it god, be it the inner being, be it the soul, or be it your subconscious mind. And as they say "qué será será"... what will be will be, part of you already knows the outcome subconsciously - so why fret. Be the child, learn to accept how you feel... let it go once you've accepted it, and then surrender to your higher-self, to All-That-Is.

Its all a matter of faith. I do not follow any religion, but I have faith. Faith that tells me whatever happens or will happen has a lesson for me to learn. I can worry about the problem, or I can let go and learn the lesson when it's time... either ways, my free-will will lead me to the lessons I must learn.

So just for today, don't worry. Leave that fear and anxiety behind and savor the now. Every minute you spend worrying is a minute taken away from your life.

You can't like everyone, and not everyone can like you.

Time and again we meet people of all types; people we love, we like, we dislike or we hate. It's always surprising how that one person can make you smile as if your whole life has been perfect and its annoying how another person can drive you so mad that it ruins your whole day. We always hear things like: "don't let it get to you and you shall be fine" or "what irritates you of another person are indicators of what you don't like about yourself" or "you can't like everyone and not everyone can like you", but do these advice really help?

Sometimes yes, and sometimes no, it really depends on how you use these advice. Do you just keep yourself away from these people? Or do you ignore them? And what about people who get on our nerves by just being around? How do you deal with them? It's not like you would wish for anything negative for them, but you would pray to never see them again. Often these people are the ones that teach us the most.... it doesn't mean that we should like them over the top to appreciate the lessons they have brought to us, but we should aim at all times to be unaffected by their presence. And when we are unaffected, we've learnt our lessons already.

You may say, what will that person teach me when they are so messed up already? Sometimes it's as simple as not to repeat the mistakes they make. Sometimes it's awareness of certain traits that are hurtful, or disturbing. Sometimes the lessons are really theirs, but we re-act a certain way for them to take action and learn from it. There is always an underlying reason as to why we enjoy, tolerate or are intolerant towards certain people and their behaviors. And living with them can bring about a lot of negativity and frustrations within ourselves, hence we use acceptance to restore our positive nature.

However, it's easier said than done! But there are so many ways to approach this situation. If you can't make peace with who they are as a person, try making peace with their behavior that irritates you... if not that, then make peace with not being able to like them. Accepting one of these three things shall ease or erase the discomfort within caused by another person. Once you make peace and accept that their behavior and actions are ones you have no control over, things slowly but steadily start falling into place.

We humans, learn through our emotions and as we exhaust the emotional reactions we have to people we dislike and hate... we become neutral and neutrality is vital to internal peace. So take this day and write of people you dislike and write things about them that trigger these feelings. And once you have something solid, try using acceptance in one of the three ways discussed above... and see if it makes a change. Slowly but surely it will! 

When you can't fall anymore, you can only climb up...

Often we are faced with difficult situations, sometimes they are momentary and sometimes they are prolonged situations. The momentary ones are like one of those days where it rains inexplicably, and ruins plans for the day - but, it's still refreshing. Whereas the prolonged ones are like months and months of rain, with no sun, causing a huge turmoil within. 

Each turmoil is different, each has its own value of teaching. If we didn't have problems we would not have painful experiences that would allow us to appreciate the good and smooth moments of life. Sometimes, we fall into depressions for we feel overwhelmed by situations. And often, these depressions are catalysts for change. Some of us tend to resist change, never acknowledging that change can be for the good too. If good times don't last, bad times don't either... given that, we must acknowledge that whatever changes happen help us develop as a soul. The good times nourish our souls so that we are able to use that as strength to withstand and learn from the bad times. But in reality, there are no "good" or "bad" times, these are just experiences that shape you, and help you evolve as a soul. 


Sometimes a depression is caused by an event, or sometimes by a build-up of several events, either ways it is because we are unable to forgive somebody (may be ourselves or anybody else) or accept situations. And those situations have caused internal chaos of fear, anger and such "lower-vibration" emotions. But because we are dealing with such feelings and emotions, it permits us to go beyond. When you can't fall anymore, you can only climb up. 

Even today, depression is a stigma in society... but it actually is the time one can experience the most amount of growth. It is an opportunity and blessing in disguise. To be able to overcome depression, it is very important to look within and be self-nurturing. Self-nurturing takes forms of acceptance, love, compassion, service, forgiveness and most importantly relief, the minute we stop permitting issues to affect us we grow from them. It may sound easy, but never is. In fact, it may be easier to just continue staying in that state... but it's not worth it. The effort taken to accept and let go is what is required for the soul's growth. 

However, some people take days or months, while other take years but does that mean the growth opportunity is better when you cling to that state? No, not really. It's a matter of being ready. Many people would be aware of the Buddhist proverb "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear", it's some what similar in this case as well. When you feel ready to make the change, your teacher will appear as well - and this applies to any situation in life. And it's okay to not be ready sooner than later. It's okay to savor those moments as well, because until you are fully drowned in those feelings... coming out of them won't make a difference. We humans tend to learn from our feelings and emotions, it is the part of us that connects us to our higher-self. We are meant to experience all sorts of feelings and emotions so intensely that we become unaffected by it. And we can only achieve that state of peace when we remain unaffected by external issues and find refuge in internal joy.

So, whenever you are ready... take that first step. Address the issues that have caused inner turmoil. Talk to yourself, and tell yourself  "I know (these issues) are troubling me within, but I want to give this feeling some love, compassion and most importantly, I want to accept these feelings. And I thank them for giving me the opportunity to grow". Know that as you nurture yourself, you will hurt less. Develop a passion, and enjoy it with your heart when you engage in it. Once you are nurtured, deal with these issues - whatever they may be, and whatever they may need (whether acceptance or forgiveness) and don't associate them to emotions like fear. Always remember, your soul will never choose problems that you are not ready for.  

I am flawed, but not forever...

There are times where everything is perfectly smooth, and then there are times where things are an utter disaster. And often, things tend to be somewhere in the middle. When things don't go right, we sometimes we get caught up in blame games, which eventually point out flaws - it may be ours or another persons.  And often we see flaws of others easily, whereas our own flaws are hidden until it is pointed out. Psychologically, this is healthy for it permits us to hold a positive image of ourselves, building self-esteem. But in reality, it is imperative to acknowledge them because these flaws need not stay with us, and they can disappear through constant effort of acknowledgement and acceptance. 

Acceptance plays a huge role on how we contribute to or eliminate our flaws. Yes, flaws are part of ourselves just as much as any other trait and they must be accepted and loved like any other. When we accept and love our flaws we build awareness towards it. The love and acceptance allow the self-esteem to be secure, perhaps even stronger than when we weren't aware of the flaws. Now if we just leave it at this, then acceptance would contribute to our flaws and we would have no motivation to change. But when we accept it with the intention to eliminate it, the awareness permits us to reduce the amount of times we react to situations through our flaws. And every time we do, we are pushed to be self-reflective. 

Flaws are indicators towards our fears and insecurities. Fears and insecurities which must be faced, dealt with, accepted with love and then eventually we need to let go of them.

For example, we all know of one person (it may be us or someone else) who is very messy and tends to collect clutters from every possible place. It is usually because they have a lot of mental clutter that they haven't been able to deal with. Every time something happens, they just leave it in some corner of their mind and get on with their daily lives... never realizing that it will stay there and conquer space as long as it is not thrown out. Or for example, a person who yaps on all day about his/her accomplishments is insecure of not being accepted, or not being "good enough" for society. And every time one of the accomplishments are brought up, they associate it with self-worth. 

We all have issues like these that we disregard, but some day we must learn to eliminate them - because they hinder our progression to achieve our life goals and to All That Is.

The best way to deal with such issues is to bring awareness to your flaws, love them, accept them, and then bring awareness to every situation where you would impulsively act through these flaws. As you diminish their usage, they are no longer part of you. And they no longer act as hindrances towards your path of enlightenment. 

Every sunrise and sunset is different, yet the essence is the same...

   I make it a point to see the sun rise or the sun set, often. As each day passes, the patterns created by the sun are different and yet just as beautiful. It makes me wonder what causes these variations and whether they have a hidden significance.

  As we've grown up the sun has always been around, more or less - considering where you live. However, when we mention the sun we all have one reference. Its like a constant... yet it isn't. Over the years, it has changed - just like everything else. But it's essence is the same. It still provides us with the same functions it did earlier... if not more now, due to our technological advances. Isn't it the same for us? Don't we change every second? Every time we  have an "aha" moment, or every time we experience something... it changes us, forever. We never go back to being the same person we were, and yet we still carry the essence since we were children. This is applicable for those who also believe in past lives, we can never go back to being the people we were earlier, but instead we carry them within ourselves.

A lot of times, whether we are conscious or not... emotions and feelings that we've experienced because of the changes are also carried on within us. They may be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, but their impact continues unless we accept them. Today was a rainy day, the sun had an unconventional sunrise - for me, it was equally charming - but it did affect the initial radiance of the sun! As the sun rose to the challenge, the day became brighter and brighter. And, must I say... not all days are bright. Just like us, the sun has its days. But at the end of it, it stays the same despite changing so much! Hence in the long term, acceptance allows us to rise to the challenges and move on with greater strength.

With this thought, I intend to open up to all the emotions built up in me - so that I can embrace each one of them and accept them. Although I do know it will not be easy, who likes to feel unpleasant, or rather chaotic with a mixture of pleasant, unpleasant and neutral? But as each emotion comes up, I shall close my eyes and say "thank you, and this too shall pass". As I do not resist feeling it, it shall come and go - just like all the pleasant and unpleasant times. I sincerely hope that along with me, you too have the strength and courage to accept the feelings and emotions of the past with no resistance. For this time when it passes, it shall mold you and me in to a new being with more wisdom. At the end of the day, pleasant and unpleasant aren't important, what's important is how we grow from it.

Being I

Many a times when we meet people are we really being ourselves? Or are we trying to fit in to the norms of the society? And some people that have broken norms and are being unique, are they really accepted?

Being I is about being unique, accepting and yet living fully. So often, we are afraid to have a voice because we fear being ridiculed, not being accepted and moreover being lonely because we don't fit in. What we fail to see is that there are 7 billion other people out there who are unique, and different, with different thoughts and opinions - and they too are fearful of the same things we are. We can never be alone or lonely because by condition we all are meant to inter-be with each other. We may be as independent as can be, and yet we must inter-be with others.

One can never be unique, different or just be oneself until there is acceptance. And acceptance comes from within through mindful practice. To accept oneself is to be in peace with one. To accept one's fear is to be fearless. Once acceptance is in place, one has returned home in the true sense. Being ridiculed does not matter anymore because one is back home, he is safe and he is fearless and most importantly, he is happy because he lives his life alongside with his morals.

Kids tend to be great examples of this, remember being in school and observing someone being teased, bullied or mocked for a specific reason? It may have been because they were fat and the rest in class were thin, or because s/he was a foreigner and the rest were local, or even because s/he dressed differently. Today when we look back, we shun it off thinking "oh we were just kids" - whether we were part of it or not. However, we fail to realize the impacts of it. That specific child who was bullied, teased or mocked probably still has those scars - be it physical or mental, may be they are suffering from low self-esteem or  low confidence. But in reality, the kids who were in the majority failed to realize that there is nothing about them that makes them stand out. And most importantly, each and every one has a distinct quality that would make them shine, but the fear of being in the minority is so heavily imprinted since school times that we, ourselves can't accept being different. Had we as children decided to be different, the world would have been a better place because the pressures of being like someone, or of fitting in would have decreased and it would be replaced by acceptance.

I have also met people who say "but I don't want to be different", and all I can say is that... "you already are!" It's just that there are definite things (sometimes even thoughts) that we keep to ourselves for the fear of rejection. However, at this point start with acceptance. When you meet someone different - see if you are willing to accept them that way. If you are, know that you too are ready to be different - but do not expect people to accept you or understand you... be happy in knowing that you are being true about yourself. Eventually the acceptance within is what we are looking for.

Once the change is brought about, the fear become fearless, the unaccepting become accepting, and a  surprise is around the corner. Different relationships are created, either with new people or with ones known before. These relationships are much meaningful in comparison to the previous ones, for they are built on honesty and comfort, and most importantly acceptance.

Today I shall start accepting who I am today, and allowing myself to develop into the person I really am.
I do hope that this has encouraged you to accept yourself and others around you.